Future Benevolent Dictator of Earth.......................
by SafeTinspector, her father

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Sam Helping with the Snow

    The snow is rapidly turning to water and fog, but a week ago we shoveled. Samantha was game to help, but acted in quite the opposite way she intended, netting an actual negative amount of assistance on my behalf.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sam and Riley gettin' Clean

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Sam the Big Girl

No, they aren't earmuffs, they are earphones.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Look Ma! Short Hair!

Samantha is six years old, four foot tall, and now has shorter hair.

    "C'mon, Sam! We're going out," said Heather.
    "Wait," I said, "where are you going?" Heather stood in the kitchen, purse already slung over her shoulder and sunglasses upon her face.
    "Not telling you," she told me as Sam put on her shoes, "Its a surprise!"
    Well, it sure was! Look at the HAIR! Short, but really very cute. This is the shortest her hair has been since she was three, and what a difference.
Here's a before and after:


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Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Mall Standoff

The Mall Standoff. Click to ZOOM.

    This is an old picture, but I never did share it with you. This is from last year (my God, how Sam has grown since then!). Sam is on the right, traversing the incredibly oversized foodstuffs.
    Some strange child who apparently wished to act as a traffic cop is on the left. How DARE Samantha contemplate leaping onto the delicious frosted goodness of the massive cupcake!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Sam and Beans and Daddy

Sam eating Beans
    A weekend that was warmer than the others came and Sam voiced a desire to "eat outside!!!" An indulgence I was more than happy to provide. I cleaned her little picnic table and warmed up some baked beans.

Dad and Sam eating Beans
    Of course, I wanted something-something, too. Here you see SafeTinspector carefully eating chili and--notice!--nottipping over the wee little picnic table.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Barbie Torture

Barbie Torture.jpg
Not sure what Sam was going for here. She was asleep when I found this horrible tableau. I assume the Barbie had done something very very wrong.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Of Sam and Penguins

    Samantha knows that she is not to pet a strange dog unless Heather or I have given the go ahead and the owner of the dog tells her it's ok. Once unleashed by us, however, Sam charges the hapless animal and its shocked owner with a blood-curdling battle-cry:
    Most humans are fools, and most fools think its a fine thing for a beautiful little girl to pet their dog. And so it comes to pass that yet another animal learns about the terrifying brute force of Samantha Whited's rough affection.
    ...You can't see me, but I'm shaking my head ruefully.

    Recently, we went to the Detroit Zoo. Believe it or not, Detroit boasts one of the great zoos of North America, known for its excellent arctic circle, gorilla habitats, butterfly house, reptile conservatory, its fine blah, excellent blah-blah, and world-class blah-blah-blah. But I digress.

Sam and... Sam
    As we walked along, Samantha chumming with a recently befriended little girl also named Samantha, Heather spied a little boy with a realistic plush penguin. Without consulting with me, my lovely wife leaned toward our daughter and made a quiet suggestion. Off shot Sam, yelling,
two polar bears

There are many other pictures from the Zoo. I uploaded them to my Flickr page, if you are interested. Oh, and if you click on the pictures above, they may take you to bigger versions of the same. I make no guarantees.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Sam Blog!

I have a lot of pictures of my daughter. You probably are already familiar with her. She is, of course, the future benevolent dictator of Earth.
I'll be posting pictures here, and I may be posting interviews and Sam related stories here as well...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Chalk Art With Sam!

Sam making art

    Apparently she is diagramming a space duck. Possibly a quantum space duck.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Sam Shoots Zombies

Sam with LIght Gun

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sam Steals a Buick

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Sam's a BIG Sister!

There shall be a two RULERS OF THE FREE WORLD!

Let them take the world and split it asunder.
Between the two of them all of humanity shall be naught but a plaything.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sam at the Carnival

Carnivals are lame, slightly creepy, and most of the 'attractions' are about as entertaining as a re-run of "Joey". This is the adult me talking.
But my daughter is now old enough to enjoy this sort of thing. Every time she's seen a carnival for the last year she's begged to go ride the ferris wheel.
So it was that last weekend we told her that she'd have a fun surprise after her nap, provided she behaved. Well, she behaved.
    "Where are we going, Daddy?"
    "You'll find out."
    "Daddy said you'll find out, you'll find out!"
    "Dad-dy! Oh, look! A ferris wheel!"
    A few moments go by. The ferris wheel grows large as we approach."
    "Are we going there?"
Well, I got pictures. But I forgot to take them whilst riding in the ferris wheel gondola. Partly because I found the ride frightening, all the more so because Samantha did not. Click on the pictures to make them bigger. Enjoy!
First, the carousel.

The Roller Coaster Ride!

Sam felt like a big girl as she was allowed to ride this attraction all by herself! She rode this thing at least ten times.

The Dinosaur Ride!

Another ride she was able to go solo on. Fun!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Sam's Journal

    My 4-year-old daughter has a journal that she keeps at school. In it the children are instructed to draw an image on paper and then a teacher transcribes the child's story underneath. The following are from my daughter, Samantha. The apple, as they say, doesn't descend far from the twisted tree from which it spawned. Click to enlarge!
This one seems pretty normal. Don't worry, they get worse.
    This is a bunch of leaves. They stayed on the ground until someone raked them up. I raked them up and put them in the garbage bag. I put the garbage bag in the garage.
A simple, yet eternal story:
    Once upon a time, there was a girl next door.
Like all love stories, this one ends in tragedy:
    I love you. This is a beautiful garden. It was raining. There was a kite. I hit my head.
Waterfowl and frozen dairy don't mix:
    This is a big circle. The ice cream is melting. The ice cream is strawberry. It is in the shape of a duck. The ice cream fell in the grass.
A tale of high adventure!
    My Mom is in the park. She was walking and she got caught in the trees. The cowboys came and got her free. My Dad came to rescue her. He grabbed her and swung from the trees into our house.
Don't they all?
    This is the road. It leads to Disney Land.
Look, this one is beautiful to look at!

    It's about a big Godzilla and another person: 2, 5, 7 persons. Godzilla is in the Iron Giant movie that my Dad has. I watch it with Dad. Iron Giant starts to be by Hogarf. It stays O-B-Bay.
Not sure what to make of that last sentence.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Sam and Her Hat

I'm so proud. My little dictator has embraced her destiny and created her own crown.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Sam at a Gay Wedding

Little Girls in Motion
No joke people. It was just like any other wedding. But it was Sam's first wedding, and here are pictures!

The picture above is Sam dancing with her second cousins Sarah and Emily, who came from California. Sam was so happy to find another little girl to play with, and they hit it off so well. Too bad they live so far away. Sam picked out her own dress and shoes for the event. She had so much fun that it completely made the weekend for me.

This picture was taken minutes after the two met:
Sam and Sarah

Sarah's little sister Emily plays with Sam and Sarah as they find Waldo or some such task.
Sam Sarah and Emily playing

Here's the Sam a dancin' away the evening!Sam Dancing

Sam and Sarah take time out from dancing to exchange a wedding invitation.
Sarah and Sam time out from dancing

In the morning we all ate breakfast together and Sam hugged everyone goodbye. Someday we'll see these people again, and I hope Sam and Sarah and Emily have just as much fun as they did at their great-aunt's wedding.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Professional Photos? Well...Sears anyway.

We've recently went and had our portraits taken at Sears. Sam is, of course, the star. Click to enlarge!

And here's one of the whole family.

And one more!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Sam at Tomas' Park

    There is a wooden play structure near my house. It is about one block away from the spot where there once stood an apartment building where our friend Tomas once lived.
    Because of this proximity, Sam named it "Tomas' Park".
    Tomas has since moved to Portland, and they eventually bull-dozed the apartment building. But the play structure remains.

click to enlarge. Suitable for wallpaper!